Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I Run Backwards To You

Come with me on a journey
Littered with words falling down a broken highway
Running from here to there
As sunrise meets sunset and day becomes night
The hour glass spills over into our reality
Eternity scurries past my eyes
As my soul eternally cries why
And if only time could rewind itself
I’d find myself backtracking past tracks
Left foot behind right foot
Down a rose adorned golden path
Tracing back a dotted line that started with you.

2 parts of a broken heart would mend itself to become whole again
No longer two
And the cold stares that we now share
Returning to lukewarm glances that gave birth to smoking hot circumstances
Inhaling and exhaling
Til your breath became mine
Your heart beat controlling mine
Pulling my strings
My lonely heart races
Through countless embraces
You buried your seed in my soul
And in other places
Naked bodies would be clothed then naked again
In euphoric embraces that conjure dejavu
You’d let go of my hand as tears quietly ran up my cheeks
And hid behind my pupils
Teaching anyone who’d listen how to open their heart and love
But I watched thick brick sturdy walls fall
Up and down to the sound of sweet poetry
Whispering anything to me to get your arms back around this
Sexy black lips locking in a kiss
Face-to-face we sit still til your scent fades
From nothing between us to nothing but space
Fading fade fading away
Til there’s nothing left to see
And I wonder when my day will come.

Treasure hunting has me scavenging
Tick tock tick tock
For this special clock
That can abruptly stop time, shuffle and rewind
To fast forward time or rewind to skip not so pleasant moments of my life
A clock that magically allows me to
Skip them as I run backwards to you
Lost in translation
I lose track of heartache and pain
Held captive by the dissociative characteristics of a migraine
As blame consumes the queen I used to be
Optimistic me transforms into bitter, irate, and jaded me
Frantically looking for a chance meeting to escape my reality
Or perhaps a simple key
Masculine is he that unlocks my dreams
As he reminds me I’m carrying his seed
So this journey of words and self-speak doesn’t ever have to back track
No rewinding or intermingling of time
Just sunsets and sunrises as the short hand dances in circles around time
Til new life is here
Marking the creation of my eternal flame
I shall call him the truth
And he is my new beginning.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Standard of Living....

Ignorance is alive in America. I think we would like to think that collectively as a community we have made progress, but if you take the time to exam the issues plaguing our society in the 21st century, you’ll see that not much has changed. I think of how much Americans have endured as a people and even more so with minority groups such as African-Americans, Latinos, Asians, or even homosexuals. We have all at some point been discriminated against. I guess that is why it surprises me that people will continue to knock each other down instead of building each other up. This is something that happens within a race or even towards other races. It all starts with a little respect.

Recently Houston based rapper, Slim Thug, earned himself some negative press as the result of an interview he gave where he in my opinion blamed black women for black men’s problems. The fact that he has an opinion or even favors other races over his own when it comes to dating isn’t the issue at hand. We all have our preferences. We have all experienced different things. I’m saddened that in this day and age, people are still quick to condemn and entire race based on the actions of a few. Regardless to what he may or may not have meant, he has a social responsibility to the public to be aware of what he says. He is not an everyday Joe and his words are magnified and heard all over the world. I am but one person and realistically how many people will ever even read this post? When you are a celebrity, you are forced to be accountable for your words or actions. Don’t stereotype everyone because of the females you deal with. Some guys are quick to boast about everything they have that they want people to be jealous of and in the same breath are mad that you seem to be attracting women that look for those same things you are boasting about. Starting to see a pattern yet fellas? If that is not what you are trying to attract them stop advertising it. Instead of making it an issue within ALL black women how about you evaluate yourself and the people you choose to associate with. Afterall, these are the people shaping your views and it is not representative of black women as a whole. If you find yourself always surrounded by the same elements, fix it! Open your pretty brown eyes and look the hell around! Who cares how big your rims are; impress me by reading a book or having an intelligent conversation. Are you a provider for yourself and your family? That is the main question that I want to know. I am tired of people who choose to not change their stars getting mad at those people that do. You can work hard. Nothing comes easy. Life is what you make of it. If you chose the low road, you can’t get mad at someone that took the high road; someone that continues to better themselves and their situation.

Over these last few days people (men mostly) kept saying that women have high standards. Okay. That could entirely be true, but like most journalists, I had to ask what high standards were; a question that no man was willing to answer. At most I heard high meant unobtainable, but that doesn’t shed any light on where black men would like black women to be mentally. What do I look for in a man? In a word…SUCCESS. You may wonder what does that mean. It means that I cannot take on another liability. I am rapidly approaching my 30s and cannot imagine myself having to play taxi cab for my mate. He doesn’t have to be rich, but at 30, if he still makes minimum wage or close to it he can’t help me. Does that make me a gold digger? I say no. I’m not looking to be wifed by some NBA player with a multi-million dollar contract just like I’m not trying to snag the successful business man. I am however forward thinking and if we can’t support ourselves, how will we afford kids or anything that the future throws our way? I have no intentions of voluntarily signing up for a life of financial turmoil. Say what you want, but I’m sure most people feel the same way.

We all get dealt the same number of cards, but it is up to each and every one of us to make the best out of the hand we are dealt. The only true losers in life are those that don’t even show up to the game. Life is a series of obstacles and each one that you are successfully able to overcome will make you stronger.  When you look back over your life and all that you have been able to achieve, you’ll be able to smile; on the inside and out.