The Best That Ever Lived

They always said bad things came in twos.
So July 4th 2004 Mikey met his fate
And 8 months later to the day I lost you.
My life forever changed
3-4-5
Like hurricanes rain destruction
I rained agony & pain
So bad sometimes my heart stopped
Trying to figure out why you're no longer here
I point blame
Creating fictitious reasons to hate those close to you in your name
Constantly awakened abruptly from my sleep like it was just a dream
Tried to laugh away my sorrow
And thus the invention of what I called the suicidal gene
This urge that we feel is real
And life's this bitch that pierces your soul and cuts through your body like steel
And I know you were stronger than me
So the fact that you chose death over life
Is the kinda truth that kills
The kinda truth that finds me awake at 4 AM...writing if you will
An agony that leaves salt stains on my cheeks
And as I stand here in front of you
Listen to these words as I speak
Because they are more than just words
They are the collective collaboration of my sweat and tears coupled with grown woman fears and a life filled with pain
They are my story
It is my truth
It is the realization that how you live your life is completely up to you
It's knowing that in your darkest hour you have everything to gain and nothing left to lose
It is accepting that a bruise on your heart is nothing more than a bruise
And don't get it twisted

I write this for me not you
Because I see you in everything I do
Whether its hours of star gazing
Or searching for clouds that look like you
I see the truth and it hurts
A pain that I could never really describe with words
So I hide my tears and disguise how you see me
Riddling poetic words til all you see is this
My self proclaimed tribute to the best that ever lived