Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Began To Speak His Truth

I sit pensive in a dark, cold and bitter room
Arms frantically flailing as I desperately try to grasp reality’s doom
Reflecting over days passed as I stumble onto new frontiers
I embrace my fears
My mind opens up like beautiful green pastures
Wondering why I always end up here?
Contemplating his fictitious alibis
I see baby tears form
And start to fall from these sad girl eyes
You see...I found something amazing
And lost it shortly after
Tainted… by his petty lies
Wondering how he got my double enforced walls down
And how he got big girl tears to stream
Like kids have dreams
Reaching for the stars I saw endless possibilities
And how we met on a week day, but on a weak day his sorry a$$ said goodbye
Talkin’ bout how I was his goal
On a quest to make me whole
And now…he trying to take credit for my life
My heart beats rapidly as I feel pain and sorrow
Like the melodious rhythms ringing out from the drum line
Tryin’ to figure out how he fucked up my today
And erased himself from my tomorrow
But I’m not even mad
Experienced a plethora of emotions from angry to sad
Before I realized he couldn’t control me or how I felt
Thought about the many conversations we shared
As I tried to talk myself out of feeling regret
Found myself being omitted all over again
I ended up with another enemy
I thought he was a friend
Now I’m stuck playing a game that it seems destiny is not willing to let me win
Or am I already a victor who is just too blind to open my artificial blues
And allow my pain to fall as my tears do
As blue moons turn into bright bursting suns
And becomes nothing more than a distant memory
And impediment so to speak that reached into my soul
And stroked my best part
He warmed this purple and blue bruised and broken heart
And thru heartache convinced me to act
Reunited me with an old friend
Performing came back
Gracing the stage full of anger and rage and using it to create a masterpiece
I open up to you…see me…center stage
I try to forget but the truth is I can’t
Because I see his words in every script I read
And every move I dance
And although I know my drum will always cancel his out
I still hear the music our souls made
As his pen began to scribble my thoughts
And I began to speak his truth
I embarked on a journey to revive something that was missing in my life
A journey that inevitably led me here tonight to you…
My audience


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